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Soal Kimia UM Upi 2010

Diposting oleh Unknown on Senin, 28 Februari 2011

No one wakes up one morning and says, "Honey, let's get married, have children, go in debt, get a divorce and be lonely the rest of our lives!" But the truth remains, nearly 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. And who is to say the happiness level of the other half that remain married.
You don't want just any relationship - you want the right one!
We are relational beings created to connect with others. We are hard-wired for love, attention, and affection. Studies show that much of our life's well-being is directly linked to the satisfaction and success of the relationships we have with our partner, children, and co-workers. Yet, little time, if any, is taken to learn about the very subject that so often determines our day to day happiness.

The 5 C's
Chemistry, Connection, Compatibility, Communication, Commitment
A healthy relationship is like an award winning cake recipe. It takes several key ingredients to make it successful. Leave out one ingredient or sacrifice the quality of the ingredients and as hard as you try to make it work, it will never be a prize-winning cake. The same holds true in relationships.
Studies have shown that happy couples share certain relationship components, or ingredients. The more components you share the greater your odds in experiencing a successful relationship. It takes the right couple to experience chemistry and the right combination of ingredients like connection, compatibility, communication, and commitment to make a stable, healthy, long-term relationship.
Chemistry
Physical Intimacy
Norepinephrine, dopamine, and phenylethylamine are chemicals called neurotransmitters. These transmitters, when released, produce feelings of euphoria, excitement, and elation.
When you meet someone who is attractive to you, your brain triggers a response to release these "feel good" chemicals. In fact, MRI scans of the brain showed that when men and women were shown pictures of their romantic partners, areas of the brain rich in dopamine "light-up". In addition, the same area did not light up when the same subjects were shown pictures of their friends. Chemistry occurs early in the relationship. It is exciting and intense but unfortunately it is short-lived. Over time, normally lasting between a few weeks to several months, the body develops a tolerance to the neurotransmitters causing the physical passion to decline.
Chemistry is a powerful mutual attraction that brings two people together. And although it is a very important ingredient, chemistry alone is not an indicator of a good relationship. As awesome as chemistry feels, it is not a determining factor in selecting Mr. Right. If you make the mistake of allowing chemistry to be the final factor in determining whether to pursue or not to pursue the new man in your life, you might be disappointed in your relationship.
Connection
Emotional Intimacy
You could call this "old people love". When you connect with your partner on an emotional level your relationship is secure, thoughtful, mature, warm, and familiar. And the longer you are with your partner the deeper your connection.
As a couple, a man and a woman must have an emotional connection. Is your partner comfortable, happy? Can you trust one another with your thoughts, feelings, and desires?
A man must know that a woman is trustworthy and feel that she is authentic and real before he will open his heart and emotionally connect with her. Likewise, he must also possess the ability to connect with you and meet your emotional needs.
A man who is emotionally mature is a man who is capable of expressing his thoughts, feelings, and concerns. He is sensitive to your needs, supports you in a crisis, and is there when you need him. On the other hand, a man who is emotionally immature will minimize your feelings, ignore your needs, and will be inconvenienced when you need his help.
Compatibility
Opposites might attract but it doesn't necessarily make them good life partners. To be compatible means to be like minded. When it comes to relationships you need to be compatible in key areas. You need to be like-minded in your basic thoughts, ideas, and values. When you are compatible,your likeness draws you closer. When you are incompatible, your differences drive you apart. Absolutely not. However, there is less conflict when you share common thoughts concerning:
Finances
Financial disagreements will kill your chemistry and short-circuit your connection. One person cannot be frugal while the other actively acquires debt.
For the most part, men are afraid of getting hosed in relationships. Let's say Mr. Right has dated and courted you for many months. He has taken you to dinner, the movies, and bought you gifts on special occasions. The last thing he wants to do is fall in love with a woman who accepts his gifts and then charges a designer handbag on a credit card at 19.99%. If you get married, he is thinking he may very well have to pay for your Coach bag!
Likewise, if you live on a budget while Mr. Wonderful buys drinks for everyone knowing his credit cards are charged to the max then your relationship is already on shaky ground.
Friends
Successful couples report their partner as their best friend. A friend is someone you know and trust. You share affection, time, and common interests. Friends support one another in the good times and the bad. This does not mean he spends all his time with you and that he never gets to play golf, go fishing, or play poker with the guys. Likewise, while you are at work, spending time with family, or out shopping with the girlfriends you too can't wait to get home to him.

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Sense of humor
There is nothing more attractive and appealing to a man than a woman who has a sense of humor. If you can maintain the laughter and keep the conversation going in the weeks, months, and years to come, then you will not only have captured his attention, you will have captured his heart.
Basic values, etc
You may share a bed and good sex, but if you do not share basic core values you won't share much of anything else. Both partners in a relationship possess the ability to compromise in certain situations. However, when it comes to basic values there are definite boundaries if you are looking for a long-term committed partner. There is no room for compromise when it comes to lying, cheating, stealing, mental, emotional, or physical abuse. Those are deal-breakers.

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